NATIONAL ACCIDENT COUNCIL OF SRI LANKA!

Have an Accident Today!
Support this Revolutionary New Way to Solve the Overpopulation Problem!

Let’s face it! We all have to die someday, so when we do, we might as well die fast!
Why wait for lingering disease or slow, tormenting old age?

Let us show you how to have a quick, easy accident!

* Join the armed forces and ask to be transferred to an operational area!

* Travel regularly by bus. According to the law of averages, you’re more than likely to eventually board a bus that has a parcel bomb on it. You figure out the rest!

* Always use the pedestrian crossing to cross the road. Cross the road at a leisurely pace, and leave the rest to the crazed private bus drivers and other road hogs that drive on our roads!

* Regularly attend political meetings of high profile ministers and try to gat as close as possible to them, so as not to miss a word they say. Eventually when a suicide bomber detonates himself or herself, you might be one of the lucky victims!

* Don’t stop at army check points! When the soldier shouts Halt! Put your foot down on the accelerator and drive on! In a few seconds you will hear the sound of gunshots. You’re in luck if the soldier is a good shot. You’ll probably get a bullet through you’re head and you wont feel a thing!

* When you’re stopped at a check point and you’re bag is checked, look nervous, turn around and run like hell! Once again, you’ll be in luck if the soldier who shoots you is a good shot!

* Go hiking with your friends to un-cleared areas in the North and East of Sri Lanka. If you are lucky, you might step on a mine or be blasted to smithereens by a booby trap!

* Don’t go for your December holidays to Europe or the Caribbean. Take your family to beautiful Kill E No Chee! From morning to night you and you’re loved ones will be serenaded by the sounds of incoming shells, multi-barrel rockets and bunker buster bombs dropped by MIGS and Kafir jets! It will only be matter of time before you and you’re family are blasted to kingdom come by one of these smart bombs!

For further information, phone or write to the,

NATIONAL ACCIDENT COUNCIL OF SRI LANKA!

(Don’t have an Accident without first consulting US!)