August 7, 2008

What if?

What if....
the LTTE tried to form a separate state in Hell?
answer: The devil would seek political asylum in Sri Lanka.

What if ...

Bin Ladan owned Sri Lanka and Hell?
answer: He would rent out Sri Lanka and live in Hell!

What if...

women stopped having periods?
answer: They would stop having babies! They would not have to take the pill or get their partners to wear condoms! They would not be able to give excuses like 'Sorry dear, not today, I have a headache!' or 'Sorry dear, I'm having my periods!' And manufactures of 'Tampon's' and 'Sanitary Napkins' will go out of business!

What if...
the sale of cigarettes and alcohol was banned in Sri Lanka?
answer: People would turn to smoking illegal cigarettes and drinking kassippu. The Government would lose billions in tax revenue. More people would fall ill by consuming substandard liquor.

What if...
it was compulsory that all the people in Sri Lanka had to attend a temple, church, mosque or kovil at least once a day?
answer: There would be peace and harmony in Sri Lanka...there would be a heaven on earth....( ha! ha! ha! only in your dreams!)

What if...
Sri Lanka ruled the World?
answer: Sri Lanka would invade any country that sold meat and alcohol and kept film halls open on poya day!
Banna programmes would be shown on televisions around the world. American women would work as housemaids in Sri Lanka. The rupee would be the World currency. Sinhala would be the lingua franca of the world. Sri Lanka would issue green cards to people around the world, to live and work in the country. Amaradeva and Nandamalini will out sell Michael Jackson and Maddona in record sales! There will be an influx of economic refugees and political asylum seekers in the country!

What if...
Hitler was a Jew?
answer: There would never have been World War 2! 6 million Jews would not have been murdered! 50 million people's lives would have been spared! There would no Jewish State called Israel! Yasir Arafat would have been a normal civilian working for a living in Palastine!

What if...
Chandrika Kumaranatunga was a man, and Ranil Wickramasinghe was a woman?
answer: It wouldn't make much of a difference!

What if...
50 years ago, Prabahakaran's father had worn a condom?
answer: There would still be a Tamil problem!

What if...
Sharks used fishing rods to catch humans?
answer: They would use currency notes as bait!

What if...
the eating of pork was no longer banned in Islamic countries?
answer: Pigs would seek asylum on the moon!

What if...
Sri Lanka was invaded by Aliens?
answer: Politician's would contact Will Smith! The general population would welcome them with open arms!

What if...
­carnivores animals and all humans became vegetarians?
answer: Pigs would fly....and Hell would freeze over!

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