AIYOOO RAJAPAKSA

by our corr. Iqbal Athas Rajapaksa (in hiding, somewhere in Rajapaksapura,
Sri Rajapaksistan 20-08-2008)

Today there was total confusion in Sri Rajapaksistan (formerly Sri Lanka)
when thousands and thousands of people changed their name to "Rajapaksa"
to get appointed as a Member of Parliament or even to get a job.
"Aiyo! It is total confusion" said a man called Rajapaksa "Everyone is
changing their name to Rajapaksa! This is mad! The telephone directory is
now full of Rajapaksas. Even Abdul Gafoor of the Thambi Kade now goes by
the name of Abdul Gafoor Rajapaksa and the Thosai Kade is run by Nagalingam
Rajapaksa!"
Hospitals authorities were reporting that all new born babies are being
named Rajapaksa by their parents (also called Rajapaksa) and several
babies have now got mixed up.
Dr. Rajapaksa of the De Soyza Maternity Hospital said "Of the deliveries
this morning all except one baby were named Rajapaksa. One was named
Askapajar, which I believe is Rajapaksa spelt backwards. Even at this
moment, Midwife Rajapaksa is delivering a baby already named Rajapaksa by
its parents!"
Even the Police and the courts are having trouble with most victims and
offenders having the name of Rajapaksa said Police Inspector Rajapaksa of
the Pettah Police. A High Court trial (State v Rajapaksa, Rajapaksa and
Rajapaksa) came to a standstill today when the victim, the suspects, the
Advocates and even the Judge were called Rajapaksa. Even most of the
jurors were called Rajapakse.
Emerging reports indicate that the Mahanayaka Theros and the Bishops and
Archbishop have changed their name to Rajapaksa. Even Pope
Rajapaksa....(That'sh enough Rajapaksa! - Editor. Rajapaksa)


Announcements

Deaths
Rajapaksa, Raja. The death is announced of Raja Rajapaksa, beloved husband
of Rajani Rajapaksa, loving father of Rajapaksa (Bank of Rajapaksa),
Dr.Rajapaksa (Rajapaksapura Hospital) and Rajapaksa (MD Rajapaksa
Industries).
Loving grandfather of Rajapaksa and Rajapaksa. Cortege leaves residence at
4.30pm today to the Rajapaksa Crematorium

Births
Rajapaksa, Rajapaksa.
Mr and Mrs Rajapaksa of Battaramulla are pleased to announce the birth of
their baby son Rajapaksa Rajapaksa. Both mother and son are doing well.

Marriages
Rajapaksa and Rajapaksa.
The families of Rajapaksa Rajapaksa (of Rajapaksa Corporation) and
Rajapaksa
Rajapaksa (of the Rajapaksa Communications) are pleased to announce the
marriage of their daughter (or is it the son ?) to their son (or is it
daughter?) at the Rajapaksa Hotel......(That's enough Rajapaksas! - Ed)

Change of Name
I, Warnakulasuriya Muhandiramge Francis Fernando of Paiyagala will
henceforth be known as Rajapaksa Mudiyanselage Rajapaksa Rajapaksa.


I, Ranil Wickremasinghe of Cinnamon Watta C7 will henceforth be known as
Ranil Rajapaksasinghe