February 19, 2010

My Name is NOT Khan…

… It's Percy 'Jilmart' Bean! Presi-Dunce of "The DemoCrazy, TheoCrazy, International Conspiracy of Idiot Island!

Idiot Islanders Rejoice! You may have lost the GSP+...but you have gained ME and my Royal Family of 300+...

That Japang dude Sushi Yakashi once asked me, how often I had elections…and I replied to him that I have an election every time I see that Hinacurly girl!

The Shyneese Premier dude once asked me how many erections I have had since I was erected Presi-Dunce…and I told him to go ask the erections commissioner! Duh!

While having rice and curry with ME and my Royal Family of 300+…the Titalian Premier told me he wanna fork! I told him you no fork in front of my Royal Family of 300+ ! But he tell me he wanna fork on the table! I tell him, you no fork on the table you sonama beach! And he tell me, then at least give him a spoon. So I say, “Waiter! Give this man a spoon!” And he eat his rice and curry with the spoon; and he no longer wanna fork on the table. Bloody Titalians!

My 3 sons Ipang, Opang and Japang once asked me if all Fairy Tales began with ‘Once Upon A Time?’ And I said Nooo… some Fairy Tales begin with, When I Become Presi-Dunce…

When I’m at home, everyone kisses my butt…and when I’m abroad, I kiss everyone’s butt! I recently kissed Moda Dave and Putting’s butts when I went to Rooseeyar. I once even kissed the tarmac in the airport! Of all the butts I’ve kissed, the butt of Kernal GodayaFree of Labia, smelt the nicest!

Peepal’s who don’t love the country, call me by many names like Idi Amin Bean, Adolf Bean, Mugabe Bean and Pol Pot Bean. My reply to these peepal’s is the same as what my good friend Willyman Shake His Spear used to say… “A ruse by any other name, would still smell fishy like a computer ‘jilmart’ election fraud!”

Some Shynees dude said, many years ago, if you want to be remembered beyond your time…you must plant a tree, bear a son and write a book . Well I, Percy ‘Jilmart’ Bean have uprooted thousands of trees to build an airport that nobody needs. I have 3 sons called Ipang, Opang and Japang who are 3 chips of the old block. And I have written 2 bestsellers called “My Name is NOT Khan” and “My Name Is Percy 'Jilmart' Bean!” I guess 2 out of 3 isn’t that bad eh? Without a doubt, the Percy 'Jilmart' Bean Reich will last a thousand years, and the name Percy 'Jilmart' Bean will last a thousand more! JAYA HOO!

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