February 3, 2010
If the Rogerproxys’ ruled the world…?
…Planet Earth would be named Planet Rogerproxy.
…Planet Rogerproxy would be ruled by the qudrumvirate of brothers.
…Supreme Leader IdiMihin Rogerproxy would rule Asia and the Pacific Islands, including Australia and New Zealand…Tenperzent Rogerproxy would rule Europe…Eldabrada Rogerproxy would rule Africa and the Muddled East and Attilla da Goatproxy would rule North and South America.
…Every household on Planet Rogerproxy would be required to hang a picture of the Rogerproxy Brothers in their homes.
…There would no longer be Americans, Indians, British, French, Germans etc. There would only be Rogerproxyans.
…Henceforth there would only be one religion which would be called Rogerproxyism.
…All Rogerproxyans living on Planet Rogerproxy would have to chant “IdidMihin Rogerproxy is the one GOD, and Attilla da Goatproxy is his brother!” five times a day, 365 days a year.
…There would be motivational hoardings put up all around Planet Rogerproxy with messages like, “Big Brothers’ are Watching You,” “Long Live the One Family Dictatorship,” “War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength,” etc…
…There would be one world currency called the Rogerproxy Rupee.
…There would be only 2 newspapers printed Worldwide called the ‘Sunday Rogerproxy’ and the ‘Daily Rogerproxy.’
…There would be only one TV channel called the ‘Independent Rogerproxy Network’ and one radio channel called ‘The Rogerproxy Broadcasting Corporation.’
…There would be only one search engine for the worldwide web called,
…Famous place names, buildings, landmarks etc like the Eiffel Tower, Sydney Opera House, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Niagara Falls, Taj Mahal, Mount Everest, Buckingham Palace and The Great Wall of China would become,,,
… Rogerproxy Tower, Rogerproxy Opera House, Leaning Tower of Rogerproxy, Rogerproxy Falls, Rogerproxy Mahal, Mount Rogerproxy, Rogerproxy Palace and The Great Wall of Rogerproxy.
…Names of famous people past and present would have to include the Rogerproxy name, for example: Einstein Rogerproxy, Napoleon Rogerproxy, Hitler Rogerproxy, Ceasar Rogerproxy, Castro Rogerproxy, Che Guevara Rogerproxy, Queen Elizabeth Rogerproxy, Lady Diana Rogerproxy, Prince Charles Rogerproxy, Mother Theresa Rogerproxy, Pope Benedict Rogerproxy, Obama Rogerproxy, Sadam Rogerproxy, Osama Bin Rogerproxy, Lenin Rogerproxy, Marx Rogerproxy, Nelson Mandela Rogerproxy and Gandhi Rogerproxy to name just a few.
…Famous books would have their titles changed, for example:
The Brothers Rogerproxy by Fyodor Dostoyevsky Rogerproxy
Lady Rogerproxy’s Lover by D.H.Lawrence Rogerproxy
The Four Rogerproxys by Alexander Dumas Rogerproxy
On the Road with Rogerproxy by Jack Kerouac Rogerproxy
King Rogerproxy and the Knights of the Round Table by Rogerproxy Rogerproxy (an autobiography)
Moby Dick Rogerproxy by Herman Melville Rogerproxy
Robinson Crusoe Rogerproxy by Daniel Defoe Rogerproxy
Swiss Family Rogerproxy by Johann Rogerproxy Wyss
Adventures of Tom Sawyer Rogerproxy by Mark Twain Rogerproxy
Romeo and Juliet Rogerproxy by William Shakespeare Rogerproxy
The Emperor Rogerproxy’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersan Rogerproxy
The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam Rogerproxy by Edward Fitzgerald Rogerproxy
Aesop Rogerproxy’s Fables by V.S. Vernon Jones Rogerproxy
The Grapes of Rogerproxy’s Wrath by John Steinbeck Rogerproxy
To name but a few.
…Famous movie stars would change their names to Aishwariya Rogerproxy, Sharuk Rogerproxy, Salman Rogerproxy, Amitab Bachan Rogerproxy, Kajol Rogerproxy, Madhuri Dixit Rogerproxy, Sanjay Dutt Rogerproxy, Angelina Jollie Rogerproxy, Jessica Alba Rogerproxy, Vin Diesel Rogerproxy, Tom Cruise Rogerproxy, John Abraham Rogerproxy and Preety Zinta Rogerproxy.
…Niccolo Machiavelli Rogerproxy’s famous book “The Prince” would be renamed “The Wannabe King” (aka The Caretaker), and Sun Tzu Rogerproxy’s book, “The Art of War” would be renamed “The Art of Humanitarian Operations.”
Leo Tolstoy Rogerproxy’s “War and Peace” would be renamed “Humanitarian Operations and Peace.”
…Henceforth the 1st and 2nd World Wars would be known as “1st World Hymanitarian Operation” and the “2nd World Humanitarian Operation.”
We would then have “The Japaneese Humanitarian Operation of Pearl Harbour,” and “The Dropping of Humanitarian Fireworks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki by the Americans.”
…When asked by someone, “Who came first…the chicken the egg or the Rogerproxys’?” The correct answer would be, “The Rogerproxys.” Those who get the answer wrong would have to spend six months in a “Welfare Humanitarian Holiday Camp.”
…The United Nations would change it’s name to “The Rogerproxy Nations,” after which there would be only 2 kinds of nations; nations that love the Rogerproxys’ and nations that do not love the Rogerproxys.’
…Nations that love the Rogerproxys’ will be known as ‘Patriot Nations’ and nations that do not love them will be known as ‘International Conspiracy Nations.’
…All roads that used to lead to Rome, will now lead to Humbugthotta.
…The Rogerproxy Nations Secretary General would change his name from Ban Ki Moon to Ban Ki Rogerproxy.
…WHO and WFO would change their names to the “Rogerproxy Health Organisation” and the “Rogerproxy Food Programme.”
…World history would be rewritten: Homo Sapiens would become Homo Rogerproxyans.
…Alexander the Great would become Rogerproxy the Great.
…The barbarian hordes who overran the Roman Empire would be known as the RogerGothproxyans, RogerVandalproxyans, RogerFrankproxyans, RogerSaxonproxyans and the RogerHunproxyans.
…In time to come, The Rogerproxys’ would become living GODS eating and drinking only special food like ambrosia and nectar meant for the Gods, and all Rogerproxyans from around Planet Rogerproxy would make a yearly pilgrimage to worship and seek blessings from the Rogerproxys.
…for the time being, I need to take a break as I need to puke. I will be back soon…until then, may the blessings of the Rogerproxys’ be with you all. Jaya Hooo!
Pres-Dunce of Idiot Island.