“I never drink water because fish fuck in it.” - W.C. Fields
“Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her” - W.C. Fields
“Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.” - W.C. Fields
“Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.” - Samuel Johnson
“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” - Hunter S. Thompson
“Well, between scotch and nothing, I suppose I’d take scotch. It’s the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.” - William Faulkner
“I was so drunk I thought I was Peter O’Toole.” - Richard Burton
“I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” - Dorothy Parker
“Sometimes I wish I’d went through those good times stone cold sober so I could remember everything—but then again, if I’d been sober the times probably wouldn’t have been worth remembering.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
“There’s no such thing as bad whiskey. Some just happen to be better than others.” - William Faulkner
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” - Oscar Wilde
“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like, who drinks as much as you do.” - Dylan Thomas
“The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” - William Blake
“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” - Winston Churchill
"The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen's lives and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire." - Winston Churchill
"Find out the name of the brand so I can give it to my other generals." President Lincoln, when informed that General Grant preferred to guzzle whiskey while leading the troops.
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