April 5, 2011
Sri RajaPakistani Crooked Team Wins World Cup
Coach Normal Rogerproxy had put together the perfect Sri RajaPakistani Crooked team. The only thing he was missing after La Shit Malinger retired was a good fast bowler. He had scouted all around the country, but he couldn't find a bowler who could ensure a World Cup win.
Then one night, while watching BooBee She, he saw a war-zone scene in JewMany. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Jewman soldier with an incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away -- ka-ba-ka-ba-boom! Then a car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach Normal Rogerproxy said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to Sri RajaPakistan and teaches him the great game of crooked, and the Sri RajaPakistani Crooked team go on to win their 2nd World Cup after 25 years.
The young Jewman is feted as the Great Hero of Sri RajaPakistani Crooked, and when Coach Normal Rogerproxy asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. "Mum," he says into the phone, "I just won the World Cup."
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."
"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans eating milk rice and lighting crackers and screaming ‘Maa throo booo meee yar’ at the top of my voice."
"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots bombs going off all around us. The neighbourhood is a pile of rubble and rubbish. Your two brothers were abducted in white vans and beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight and the police say it is an ‘International Conspiracy’ to tarnish the image of Sri RajaPakistan."
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says...
"...I'll never forgive you for making us move from Jewmany to Sri RajaPakistan the Utopian Parasite of ASSia!