Obama watches me on Jilmart TV

Whither goest thou Sri Lanka?

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." – from Hamlet, William Shakespeare; Act II, scene ii

Unfortunately in Sri Lanka, a majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that this country belongs only to them, while the Muslim, Tamils and Christian minorities should be seen and not heard!

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that they are the greatest race on earth with the greatest culture and language in the world!

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that this country can become the “ASSchariya Rai” of Asia, even though countries like Japan, Singapore, Korea, Malaysia, China etc. are far ahead of us, and we would have to go past them to become the “ASSchariya Rai” of Asia!

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that we can become the most developed country in Asia, simply by continuing to be an agricultural country!

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that pigs will one day fly, hell will freeze over someday soon, and western women will one day work as ‘housemaids’ in Sri Lanka. (That is once we become the “ASSchariya Rai” of Asia).

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that ‘One Family Rule,’ is better than Democracy!

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that Sri Lanka is the most Democratic country in the world, where ‘Wars’ are called ‘Humanitarian Operations,’ with ‘Zero Casualties,’ to civilians!

A majority of the majority have been brainwashed into thinking that just because they are a numerical majority, they can ride rough shod over the minorities and tell them what they should eat and drink and what is the permissible culture and language for the minorities, irrespective of the fact that minorities have their own culture and language!

Now the 64,000 dollar question is, Is there a way forward?

The answer is: Only if the majority is rehabilitated to think differently! If that can be done. There will be real peace and development; and not the ‘kind of a peace’ and a ‘kind of development’ (where most of the money goes into the pockets of the ruling family). THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TODAY!

Quo vadis?

Whither goest thou Sri Lanka?

Come to Malboro Country - The Land of Zero Casualties

The Idiot Island Children’s Book Of Parleymutting

Lesson 1
See the funny man.
His job is ‘Parleymutting.’
He is called a ‘Parleymutt.’
See the funny white outfit he is wearing.
It is called the ‘Fool the Idiots Outfit.’
See his funny moustache and the funny purple towel around his neck.
Hear his funny stomach churn.
Churn, churn, churn.
The funny Parleymutt has a funny ulcer.
Most funny Parleymutts have funny ulcers.
But some funny Parleymutts are lucky.
They do not have funny ulcers.
They have funny high blood pressure.

Lesson 2
See the funny Parleymutt with the purple towel around his neck talk.
Blah! Blah! Blah!
The funny Parleymutt is lying to the funny tax paying idiots.
All funny Parleymutts lie to the funny tax paying idiots.
He is telling them to tighten their belts.
Tighten. Tighten. Tighten.
After his speech, the funny Parleymutt will give the funny tax paying idiots breakfast.
‘Koorakong Bread’ and ‘Colour Canda.’
Yum! Yum! Yum!

Lesson 3
See the pretty lake.
It is called the ‘Doyouwanna Lake.’
See the funny Parleymutts building in the middle of the pretty lake.
All the funny Parleymutts work there.
They say “Long Live The Gang Of Four!”
Blah! Blah! Blah!
They say, “We will safeguard Democrazy!”
The bald Parleymutts with orange bed sheets wrapped around them say,
“We want a Dharmacrazy!”
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Don’t you wish YOU could speak like these funny Parleymutts?
You can.
You are almost seven now!

Lesson 4
See the funny Parleymutts building.
225 funny Parleymutts work there.
Let us count the 225 funny Parleymutts.
Count! Count! Count!
Hmmm! 200 funny Parleymutts are missing.
Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!
Where are the 200 funny Parleymutts now?
Holidaying in LunDumb, Parish and Nooyuk.
Isn’t Parleymutting fun!
Fun! Fun! Fun!
The funny tax paying idiots must have lost another billion or two of their tax money.

Lesson 5
See the funny man in glasses with the silly grin on his face.
He is the brother of the funny Parleymutt with,
the purple towel around his neck.
He has made 132 people vanish today, by courtesy of WUFOs.
And it isn’t even lunchtime yet!
Vanish! Vanish! Vanish!
See the other two funny men standing next to him.
They will not be made to vanish today.
They are funny Parleymutts too.
They are the funny Parleymutt brothers of the funny Parleymutt with,
the purple towel around his neck.
How lucky the funny tax paying people are.
Lucky! Lucky! Lucky!
Vote for one, and get ‘4 for the price of 1.’

Lesson 6
See the funny Parleymutt with the hair gel, beard and 2 mobile phones.
The funny Parleymutt with the purple towel around his neck loves and trusts him.
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Trust! Trust! Trust!
This funny Parleymutt does the marketing and he also washes the clothes of
the funny Parleymutt with the purple towel around his neck.
Marketing! Marketing! Marketing!
Wash! Wash! Wash!
Scrub! Scrub! Scrub!
Parleymutting is hard work.
The funny tax paying people should be grateful for funny hard working Parleymutts like him.

Lesson 7
See the funny ‘Cupboard Meeting.’
Funny Parleymutts have 1 or 2 funny ‘Cupboard Meetings’ a month.
But none on full moon days.
(Full moon days are reserved for catching ‘Permanent Rehabilitators of Cattle’
and ‘Liquor Salesman’).
They discuss everything at ‘Cupboard Meetings.’
At this ‘Cupboard Meeting’ they are discussing the drop in oil prices.
The funny tax paying idiots are still paying the old price for a litre of petrol.
Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!
Soon the funny Parleymutts will make a BIG decision.
But not at this ‘Cupboard Meeting.’
Maybe at the next ‘Cupboard Meeting’ that will be held in one month’s time.

Lesson 8
See the funny short Parleymutt Docter with the dark glasses.
He likes to re-arrange up T.V. Stations and steal cameras.
He studied only up to the 8th grade.
He can barely write his name.
But this is enough qualifications to become a funny Parleymutt on Idiot Island.
“Funny Parleymutt, why do you steal cameras and temporarily rehabilitate
jolly cameramen from private T.V. Stations?”
“Because they do not give happy endings to stories about me!”
“I like happy endings!”
Someday a jolly cameraman will hit him with a jolly camera, right on his jolly nut!
What a happy ending THAT will be!
Happy! Happy! Happy!

Lesson 9
Listen to the funny Peacekeeping Comedian talk.
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Lie! Lie! Lie!
See his funny nose grow, just like Peenorkeeyo
“Is it true that 25,000 tourists were permanently rehabilitated and not a single
humanitarian peacekeeper was either permanently or partly rehabilitated?”
Of course! Of course! Of course!
See his funny nose grow, just like Peenorkeeyo
Grow! Grow! Grow!
“Funny Peacekeeping Comedian, when will the war end?”
There is no war, only a ‘Humanitarian Crusade!’
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Grow! Grow! Grow!
How nice it would be if the funny Peacekeeping Comedian’s
BRAIN would grow instead of his nose!

Lesson 10
See the funny tax-paying idiot.
He is the 8th wonder of the world.
He has a 40-year-old body and a 10-year-old mind.
He believes everything the funny Parleymutts tell him.
The funny Parleymutts T.V. channels and newspapers tell him what he likes to hear.
He believes he lives in the greatest country on Planet Mirth.
He believes he has the greatest culture and the best economy on Planet Mirth.
He believes that women from LunDumb, Parish and Nooyuk,
will one-day work as housemaids in his country.
He also believes that pigs can fly and hell will one-day freeze over.
If this continues, the funny tax-paying idiot will become even more amazing.
He will no longer have a 40-year-old body and a 10-year-old mind.
He will have a 40-year-old body and a FIVE-year-old mind.

I Have A Dream (with apologies to Martin Luther King)

I have a dream that one day Jilmart Island will rise up and live out the true meaning of MY Chinthanaya: "I PresiDunce Bean hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created subservient to Me, and my family of 300+."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of GeorgiJilmart, the sons of former Tourists and the sons of former Tourist Rehabilitators will be able to sit down together at the table of Jilmarthood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of MississippiWaikkal, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of One Family Rule.

I have a dream that my three sons Ipang, Opang and Japang will one day live in a nation where Jilmartians will be judged by their ties to MY Family and not be judged by the color of their skin or by the content of their character.

I have a dream today for tomorrow and another 2500 years and more! Ha…ha…ha…
I have a dream that one day, down in AlabamaWaikkal, with its humanitarian racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "Maathrooboomeyaa" and "One country One people" -- one day right there in AlabamaWaikkal little Tranquil boys and Tranquil girls will be able to join hands with little Jilmart boys and Jilmart girls as sisters and brothers of one father. That’s ME!

I have a dream today!

And if Jilmart Island is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let ‘One Family Rule’ ring from the prodigious hilltops of New HampshireWaikkal.

Let ‘One Family Rule’ ring from the mighty mountains of New YuckWaikkal.

Let ‘One Family Rule’ ring from the heightening Allegheniesthotta of PennsylvaniaWaikkal.

Let ‘One Family Rule’ ring from the snow-capped Rockies of ColoradoWaikkal.

Let ‘One Family Rule’ ring from the curvaceous slopes of CaliforniaWaikkal.

And when this happens, when we allow ‘One Family Rule’ to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, from every government office we will be able to speed up that day when all of MY children, MY Family of 300+, MY henchmen, MY hangers on, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Jilmart spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank Almighty PresiDunce Bean, We Are Free At Last!