Now that elections are around the corner, a number of Political Vacancies are available in the “Democrazy Theocrazy Banana Republic of Idiot Island.” Only opposition MPs, Patriotic Underworld Personages and Retired Peacekeeping Personnel will be deemed eligible to apply.
Given below are some of the vacancies:
1. Ambassador to the Bermuda Triangle.
2. Special Envoy to the Arctic Circle.
3. Ambassador to the South Pole.
4. Secretary of State to the Khyber Pass.
5. Special Representative to the Gaza Strip.
6. Permanent Representative to the Swat Valley.
7. Secretary General of Siberia.
8. Viceroy to the Christmas Islands.
9. Secretary to the Defence Secretaries Secretary.
10. Governor of Wooly mooly why call.
11. Mayor of Put the Kuddu Rip Poo.
12. Chief Minister of Nerdy Cuddle.
13. Sheriff of Full of Thieves Jungle.
14. Minister of Nation Building. (15 Vacancies)
15. Deputy Minister of Inland Fisheries & Ornamental Fish.
16. Minister of Bus Halts & Pavement Construction. (8 Vacancies)
17. Advisor to the Presidents Chief Advisor.
18. Chief of Staff to the Ministry of Peace.
19. Advisor to the President on Astrology, Asteriods and UFOs. (12 Vacancies)
20. Minister of International Conspiracies. (5 Vacancies)
21. Ministry of Zero Casualties and Satellite Images. (7 Vacancies)
22. Deputy Minister for Swine Flu & Dengue Mosquitoes.
23. Government Spokesman for Lies, Damned Lies & Statistics.
24. Minister for Welfare of Journalists & Media Personnel.
25. Minister of Welfare Holiday Camps & Internally Displaced Holiday Campers.
26. Minister of Monsoonal Rain & Cyclone Management.
27. Minister of Election Violence & Unnatural Disasters. (111 Vacancies)
Applicants are kindly requested to send in their CVs including the contact numbers of 2 non related family members on or before or after December 23rd 2009AD. A cheque for 5 million US Raypees should also be enclosed as a donation for the ongoing election campaign and mailed to the address given below.
His Hex-A-Lunacy President Percy Bean,
Caretaker of the Democrazy Theocrazy Banana Republic of Idiot Island,
No. 9/11, Hum-Bug-Thotta
Girl Face Groin,
Koolamboob,
Idiot Island.
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