October 11, 2011

Steve Jobs dies in paintball shootout: Bill Gates security personnel have shot him – Bill Gates also critical and dripping with paint

(Daily Noise -11.Oct.2011, 6.45pm)

Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple Inc. and Presidential advisor to Barrack O’Bummer died in a paintball shooting incident. Two security personnel of his have also died in the paintball shootout.

The security personnel of Bill Gates have been responsible for the shooting and killing. Steve Jobs had died on the way to the JoyWardNee Pora Hospital due to respiratory arrest caused by a pancreatic tumor which was aggravated by the paintballs lodged in his body .

Consequent to the shootout between the two groups, 10 victims have been hospitalized. This tragedy had occurred at about 3.30 pm in the vicinity of She-Ma-Whore Bundy Knacker Vid-Ya-La, Angoda, Noo Yuck.

Bill Gate’s group had also been shot at by the Steve Jobs group , whereby Bill Gates had sustained serious injuries to his ego . He had been admitted to the JoyWardNee Pora Hospital and is in a critical condition. Hospital sources say, he had been shot in the head, and a ‘Humanitarian Operation’ had been performed on him. JoyWardNee Pora Hospital medical Authority S A K Gummy Bear told the media, the CTC scan done on him had revealed that his head and ego had sustained serious injuries . Bill Gates father had disclosed that Doctors had told him that there is only a 20% chance of Bill Gates recovering to participate in future paintball shootouts and to run his Microsoft Company.

Meanwhile a curfew has been clamped on the police division of Molly-Ya-Wa. The curfew will be on from 4.30 pm today until 6.00am tomorrow. The users of Steve Jobs Apple products who were provoked following the death of Steve Jobs have begun attacking the Molly-Ya-Wa police with i-Phones and i-Pads and they have also set fire to two police computers with Windows operating systems, reports say. Though a curfew was imposed after the attack, the enraged Apple product users had set fire to a Microsoft office of Bill Gates defying the curfew.

The National guard had been deployed to provide security to the Molly-Ya-Wa police division. An FBI team had also arrived at the venue to conduct investigations. The CIA are conducting investigations to deduce if this paintball shooting was an ‘International Conspiracy’ to tarnish the image of President Barrack O’Bummer.

This dispute between the Steve Jobs Apple Inc and the Bill Gates Microsoft Corporation had been raging for many years. Among the true Apple users there was deep disillusionment that Barrack O’Bummer was turning a blind eye, a deaf ear and a mute mouth to the illegal activities of the Microsoft Corporation.

Steve Jobs is survived by Laurene, his wife of 20 years, their three children and by Lisa Brennan-Jobs, his daughter from a previous relationship. His family released a statement saying that he "died peacefully due to respiratory arrest caused by a pancreatic tumor which was aggravated by the paintballs lodged in his body."

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